RANT ON: Absolutism in HIV Prevention

Steven Fullwood's blog entry for World AIDS Day got me Thinking Again. I read his revisitation of his essay, "Use a Condom and Live" and things started bubbling around in the back of my brain again. (Sort of like they did when it was first published.) Then i read a posting from one of my contacts on Yahoo! 360 titled, "NO Glove, NO Love...I won't die for SEX" and things really started to boil over. Don't get me wrong; i'm not angry or hurt or offended. I'm worried that too many of us have swallowed the absolutism pill whole: use a condom every time in every sexual situation if you want don't want to die.

I figured i'd share the text of my response to the "NO Glove NO Love" post here (unedited):

I feel your passion and i feel your frustration. As an HIV prevention educator for several years now, i know what it is like to talk to men who *seem* to not care about the consequences of their actions. That said, i am also concerned about absolutism and desire to apply simple answers to complex problems. Are 46% of black gay men HIV positive? Well, 46% of the men in one five-city study that sampled participants from bars and parks were. (Check out Keith Boykin's detailed exploration of this study at http://www.keithboykin.com/arch/001622.html.)

It is easy to believe that telling people to use condoms will help them to use condoms and will help to prevent the spread of HIV. If it was that easy, though, the epidemic would be over. (I challenge anyone to find me the person in this country over the age of 15 who *hasn't* heard that condoms prevent STDs.) Information is not enough and preaching is never the answer. What you'll find is a loud chorus of "amens" from people who are already sitting in the choir stand, while the folks who have questions, concerns or challenges with your beliefs will sit mostly silent.

If a brotha doesn't like using condoms, he'll have sex without using condoms. If everyone around him starts telling him he's stupid or crazy for not using condoms, he'll still have sex without using condoms ... he just won't talk about it anymore. And the fact remains that having unprotected sex does not *guarantee* the transmission of HIV from one person to another. There are ways to educate people and help them engage in healthier, safer behavior even within the confines of choosing condomless sex.

We need to look more at the whole picture of what makes up our sexual identities, how those identities are integrated into our whole selves, and how all that impacts our behavior. Somewhere in there are answers to slowing and maybe even ending the spread of HIV in our communities. Anything short of that starts to sound like the Nancy Reagan approach to drug prevention.

I'm curious to know, as this year's World AIDS Day enters its twilight, how other folks have experienced the HIV prevention messages they've received over the years.

m